President George W. Bush was scheduled to visit the
Methodist Church outside of Washington as part of his campaign.
Bush's campaign manager made a visit to the Bishop
and said to him, "We've been getting a lot of bad publicity among
Methodists because of Bush's position on stem cell research and the like.
We'd gladly make a contribution to the church of $100,000 if during
your sermon you'd say the President is a saint."
The Bishop thinks it over for a few moments and
finally says, "The Church is in desperate need of funds and I will agree to
do it."
Bush pompously shows up looking especially smug and
as the sermon progresses the Bishop begins his homily:
"George Bush is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite and a nitwit.
He is a liar, a cheat, and a low-intelligence weasel with the world's largest
chip on his shoulder.
He steals elections. He politicizes science. He has lied about his military
record and had the gall to put himself in a jet plane landing on a carrier
posing before a banner stating 'Mission Accomplished.'"
"He invaded a country for oil and money, and is
using it to lie to the American people.
He continues to blur the line between church and state.
Corruption is rampant in his administration.
He routinely appoints incompetent and unqualified cronies to high-level federal government positions and as a result, hundreds and hundreds of
Americans died tragically in New Orleans.
He is so psychotic and megalomaniacal that he
believes that he was chosen by God."
"He is the worst example of a Methodist I've ever
personally known."
"But compared to Dick Cheney and the rest of his
cabinet, George Bush is a Saint."
Catherine
