The Link


10 Reasons Why Liberal Men are Better in Bed

1. Conscience!
A liberal man knows it’s not all about him. His getting off is contingent on yours. You don’t have to make him pancakes to get him to go down on you.

2. Tears!
Liberal men cry— just not during sex. They acknowledge that there are some things worth getting weepy about, such as everything the federal government has done in the past six years.

3. A sense of perspective.
A good liberal man realizes that what goes on in politics does have an impact on what goes on in the bedroom. (Even though you don’t have to talk about it in bed.) This is in stark contrast to the Republican man, who can’t understand how his support for anti-choice politicians could possibly impact your sex life. While it may have been fun to sit on a Republican man the night before, it’s his fault you’ll have a hard time getting your Plan B prescription filled the next day.

4. A sense of humor.
Republican men may laugh at jokes, but liberal men are better at making jokes. Case in point: Jon Stewart. They didn’t ask a conservative comedian to host the Academy Awards. (Are there any conservative comedians?)

5. Foreplay.
Liberal men are so intellectually sexy that everything is foreplay. Republicans might get started in the cab after dinner, but the liberal man’s in-depth knowledge of (and vehement opposition to) various state-level abortion restrictions has got me all hot and bothered before we’ve ordered our entrees.

6. Size.
It is absolutely, positively, 100 percent true that Republicans are bigger dicks who trigger the gag reflex.

7. Efficiency.
See #5.

8. Largesse.
Liberal men will never drag you to a restaurant you don’t like, order your meal for you, and then leave a terrible tip. If they do pay for your dinner, they’ll never demand a blow job in return. (But they were such great conversationalists at dinner, you’ll probably be into fellatio, anyway.)

9. Wooing techniques.
Liberal men do indeed send emails and text messages that say things like "I can’t wait to eat your pussy." Unlike Republicans, they actually mean it.

10. Nightstand reading.
You will never find a Republican reading She Comes First. Liberal men understand you want to be with someone who knows how to find your clit.

BEAUTIFUL!!!

Are you trying for some brownie points, Sky?

Spring must be in the air in Cascadia

Funny! We'll never know, here in SoCal. The women, at least of my generation (remember the hippies?) all talk to the left but walk to the right. The last three women I dated, first question asked..."Do you rent or own?". I rent...no second dates. Now you know who elected Arnold.

Unfortunately Zooks, that been my expreince as well,
except I live in a single wide!


However, on the good side.
It weeds out the tourists.
Only the truely compatable need apply!

That's our one shortcoming 'zooks, we're lousy liars

YOu are three great guys. Women who only care about whether or not you have money are complete wastes of time anyhow.

Thanks...care for dinner and a movie? I'll cover the sitter, or Holden can come along.

Great post.

BTW, I find Rush to be hilarious.

MY version

#10...conservative=unchanging. Liberal=inventive...nuff said

#9...libs know kneeling aint just for prayer...for either partenr

#8...no one will sing the star spangled banner as they get off

#7...wouldn't even consider banning "toys"

#6...reading aloud from the stock market report is NOT foreplay

#5...repugs think only "feminazis" want to get off too.

#4...liberals dress wayyyyyyyyy hotter.

#3...no pics off the Chimp in our bedrooms! (Ahh id be blinded)

#2...Missionary position only? WHAT?

and the #1 reason"

Noone yells "Mission Accomplished" long before you're done

What??? No comments???

Oh well....I made up the punch line first and had to come up with 9 other funnies to go with it.
I tried...

Tapper,

what else could someone say?
You said it all perfectly!

Did you make this up???

Yup! not bad for my 2nd cup of coffee....was giggling the whole time i wrote it. Yeah, im kinda twisted.

Good coffee! Mind if I have a cup?

Holden would have to come, I don't trust anybody with my boy. Its gunna take a while for us to walk to cali though.

I'll pick you up, as soon as I put the new water pump in my Subaru.

Sweet! It's a date!

earth to the Moderator, earth to the Mods,

Is it legal to cyber in the forum?????


Hello!





Sheesh, everybody is watchin the show,
and no one's listening!



Must be terrists

Better'n what the Romans did in the forum...Et Tu, Bluto?

Romans? Bluto?

Marvin the Martini has the right hat!





Ya know, he does look kinda like a cartoon version of a neo-con.


Dunno nothing bout no cybering with Bluto.

Speaking of cartoons...bush looks somewhat like a chimp, but EXACTLY like Alfred E Newman!!

Oh, and I'll host the Zook & Lefty Cyber-Wedding...ya know, "til boot do we part!" LMAO

Marvin The Martian used to be my avatar here, but when TJ went to this style of forum, I lost the graphic for it.

I think Sky's jealous!

]

hee hee

Might be! you're a catch!

Of course I'm jealous!



But I'll get over it!

I dunno; lefty, they're both pretty hot...maybe we should do a cyber dating game q&a to see who wins.

Sky is the victim of his own imagination. I think Lefty and Holden are a "catch," too. But I don't mistake dinner and a movie (in cyberspace or otherwise) for the sound of wedding bells, virtual or actual. 'Sides, I'm a grizzly ol' fart, and probably not that much of a "catch" myself. Too opinionated.

Zooks.


I'm only playing along with the game.
Hell, I'm as old as you are, and been married twice enough.

That don't mean playin is agin the rules!
And if flatterin the ladies of this fine forum is one of the results of such things,
(ever one of whom I respect considerably)
I for one have no complaints!



As to your being a catch or not.
That's a decision best left to the catcher, and not the catchee!
So, if the lady wants to flirt you. Hush, and let her!

Good advice, Sky. Thanx. I just wouldn't want someone to wink at me only to find a...fool...stuck in her eye! Oh, and I do not flatter...I tell people I admire that I admire them. You're on my A list, too, but don't expect flirtation.

When I admire someone, I see no harm in flattering them with the truth!
I do flatter both men and women with the truth as I see it,
though both receive a distinctly different form of flattery!

I respect you for instance, and have no issue telling you as much.
Or telling you that anyone who survives as much as you have,
and learns through that process of survival,
how to express them selves as you have,
in my opinion deserves a little ego stroke now and then.
I hope that you are flattered by such things.
That is after all, the intention.
You deserve nothing less.

Leave it to you two to overanalyze ... just take the compliment, guys and carry on....

Hell, Im an old married woman, & I still harmlessly flirt, and Mike trusts me & wouldnt have me any other way!

Hey now!

It's my Saturday morning and my second cup of yum yum coffee,
if I wanna examine the mundane in detail,
that's my saturday privelage!

Though, I do agree with you Tap.
When a lady winks at a man, it could simply just be her way of saying "Hello".
At any rate, dig it just because it is, and let the ego have it's moment.

This forum is The Watercooler...where we can unwind and talk about the things that don't quite fit on the rest of the board. And I hear women talking about how they handle all parts of all relationship issues in the smallest details frequently. I think that's one of the reasons women do relationships better'n us menfolk. They talk about it. Most of us don't have more'n half a clue.

(lil evil grin) Not all women wanna talk about it...in fact my advice to men is "if she has enough energy to want to talk when you're done...You're not doin it right...."

Kiddin Guys, Really! Ok not really, but making a funny!

It's been my exprience that after she catches her breath,
if you two don't have a lot to talk about,
he better be rich, or have a really big tool belt!

And even that only hold status quo just so long.

Good conversation is as sexy as good sex!
I wouldn't wanna have to live with out either one!

Holy shit, you guys had a nice long conversation about my intentions when I wasn't even around! Nice. Makes me feel all loved and shit.

I can flirt with whomever I want, by the way fellas. It was and is harmless. Zooks is cool as hell, in my opinion and I was playing along. I see no harm in that. Besides, sometimes we do overanalyse (how the fuck do you spell that?) everything to death.

Zooks, don't worry, I'm not packing my bags to come stalk you or anything...SO

See if I flirt with any of ya'll ever again!

See what I mean? Obviously, I have less'n half a clue...

NO way. You are a brilliant man, Zooks. I was saying all that (above, last post) mostly in jest. I like to flirt with you. Sky's just gunna so have to get over it.

Gosh...

Aw, see, that's more like it.

I dunno Lefty.

Looks like trouble to me anyway!



Next weekend I'm going to the Cirque du Soleil show, Varekai!

I'm jazzed too!

Huh?????

LOL.


That's the way I like my ladies.



Coinfuseled!

On April Fools day I'll be under the big top with the Cirque.


In my adult times there have been three performances I wanted to see more than any other.


Stomp,
Cirque du Soliel
and Blue Man Group!


I've seen them all at least once,
and if you ever get a chance to see any of these three,
sell your car if you have too.

But see them yourself, live!


These are among the grandest things that make being human a joy!

Sounds like big fun. I'm helping set up the FIRST Wharf Rats booth in my town for a day of jam bands in the park.