May 06, 2005
This story from NEWS HOUNDS

Bizarre Sex Habits of The Extreme Right-Wing

Last night, anti-abortion extremist Neal Horsley was a guest on The Alan Colmes Show, a FOX News radio program. The topic was an interesting one - whether or not an internet service provider should allow Horsley to post the names of abortion doctors on his website. Horsley does that as a way of targeting them and one doctor has been killed. In the course of the interview, however, Colmes asked Horsley about his background, including a statement that he had admitted to engaging in homosexual and bestiality sex.

At first, Horsley laughed and said, "Just because it's printed in the media, people jump to believe it."

"Is it true?" Colmes asked.

"Hey, Alan, if you want to accuse me of having sex when I was a fool, I did everything that crossed my mind that looked like I..."

AC: "You had sex with animals?"

NH: "Absolutely. I was a fool. When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule."

AC: "I'm not so sure that that is so."

NH: "You didn't grow up on a farm in Georgia, did you?"

AC: "Are you suggesting that everybody who grows up on a farm in Georgia has a mule as a girlfriend?"

NH: It has historically been the case. You people are so far removed from the reality... Welcome to domestic life on the farm..."

Colmes said he thought there were a lot of people in the audience who grew up on farms, are living on farms now, raising kids on farms and "and I don't think they are dating Elsie right now. You know what I'm saying?"

Horsley said, "You experiment with anything that moves when you are growing up sexually. You're naive. You know better than that... If it's warm and it's damp and it vibrates you might in fact have sex with it."

In addition to Horsley, Colmes has recently interviewed Randall Terry another radical anti-abortionist and anti-gay activist. In the middle of an otherwise serious interview, Terry began joking - apropos of nothing - that he and Colmes were ex-lovers.

Another extremist interviewed by Colmes not too long ago was Rev. Fred Phelps who stated on the show that he thought the death penalty should be given for those who engage in "sodomy." When Colmes asked Phelps if he had ever engaged in gay sex, Phelps blustered but never said no.

Hmm, I'm beginning to sense a pattern here. Come to think of it, Ann Coulter is reputed to have an unusually, er, wide-ranging sex life, too, though as far as I know it's just confined to men. Still, it doesn't exactly match the profile of an ultra-conservative.

Being a middle aged heterosexual
who has never had sex with animals, family or inanimate objects,
I am lately wondering if I am in fact,
part of a deviant minority?

As much as I hate to admit it, as a rightwinger, it is probably true that you will find more closet-weirdness among rightwingers than you will among leftwingers, who have the advantage of holding an ideology that celebrates more or less anything that doesn't hurt other people, and are therefore less sexually-repressed.

The real lesson is the powerful, urgent, always-present Darwinian drive to reproduce, reproduce, reproduce, which in males means to copulate as much as you can, without much discrimination in what with. (You don't have to discriminate much if you just nail everything that moves. Type I errors seldom have bad consequences [okay, AIDS has changed that somewhat], and Type II errors mean you miss a chance to replicate your genes, so ... )

Since unlimited male copulation undermines stable societies, this powerful biological urge has been overlaid with strong external social restraints: get married, stick with your wife (wives), raise your children. But these restraints are facing powerful urges to the contrary, which is why we see so much hypocrisy about sex.

Doug

Would rape be a type I error, too? Only if you're arrested? Or caught by a husband? And is sex with children a type III error? There seem to be a lot of Republicans in the news of late for that...

Eagles, and swans, and wild geese as well, mate for life. Republicans seem to mate for death. Like viruses. Or cancer.

Gadzooks: you say

My advice to our Vampire : watch out for falling wooden stakes !