Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Wait! Are these Republican Fundies??

HAW!

Misc. Shorties:

"Ignorance is the mother of admiration." - George Chapman

Marriage is an institution, but who wants to live in an institution?


The excitement of learning separates youth from old age. As long as you're learning, you're not old.

Did you hear about the rheumatoid alcoholic? ... Every night he gets stiff in a different joint.

Two older men sat on a bench in the park. One said, "I hear that eating raw oysters puts lead in your pencil."
The other man said, "I don't like raw oysters, and to tell you the truth, I don't have any women to write to!"


"The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings." ~ Author Unknown

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A man goes on a 2-month business trip to Europe and leaves his cat with his brother. Three days before his return he calls his brother.

Brother 1: So how is my cat doing?

Brother 2: He is Dead

Brother 1: He's Dead! What do you mean He's Dead! I loved that cat. Couldn't you think of a nicer way to tell me! I'm leaving in 3 days. You could have broken the news easier. You could have told me today that she got out of the house or something. Then when I called before I left you could have told me, Well, we found her but she is up on the roof and we're having trouble getting her down. Then when I call you from the airport you could have told me, The Fire Department was there and scared her off the roof and the cat died when it hit the ground.

Brother 2: I'm sorry...you're right...that was insensitive I won't let it happen again.

Brother 1: Alright, alright, forget about it. Anyway, how is Mom doing?

Brother 2: Umm... She's up on the roof and we're having trouble getting her down.
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I got kicked out of Barnes and Noble once for moving all the bibles into the fiction section

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was:"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge failure...

In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant


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The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a
capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety
labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?